Inspiration: This picture
“Leave.” The hooded figure, Crenshaw, growled as he scrawled his bone wand in the air.
“I can’t. It’s my job to be here.” The second speaker was large and reptilian, he stood twice as tall as Crenshaw with glimmering green scales and regal folded wings to match. He was every thing kobolds hoped to achieve, tall, winged, and strong.
“Go woo some scattered brained tribal, Larson. I don’t want you here, I am doing my own thing and bothering no one.” Crenshaw used his wand to flatten the fields around his home.
“I know. Makes my job much easier, you can’t make our masters piss themselves if you are just farming. So keep farming.” Larson snickered while his golden eyes scanned the tree line for the various creatures cowering from Crenshaw.
“They are not my masters. I do not serve dragons, those repulsive creatures can all die down to the last squealing whelp. You can serve who you wish but do not ever call those monsters my master.” Crenshaw growled but didn’t remove his focus from the spell.
“Touchy touchy, but that doesn’t change my job. I’m the only one that isn’t scared to come this close to you.” Larson snickered and hopped the fence, his clawed feet dug into the magically plowed land. He placed a hand on the back of the smaller black scaled kobold.
Larson watched quietly as Crenshaw started to summon Minotaur without any more than a snap of his fingers. The Minotaur immediately began to till and work the fields with practiced ease, Crenshaw’s gaze continued to drift over to the dragons watching him cautiously from the treeline.
“Okay, I have to ask. Why don’t you kill them if you hate them so much. You’ve ascended to Godhood, you can be anything you want to be. A dragon, a winged-one but you are still the same Crenshaw I remember.” Larson pulled back Crenshaw’s hood and stared, “Even the scars on your scaled face haven’t changed.”
Crenshaw sighed, “What would you do with this power? Larson, What would you do if you could do anything? I am strong enough to the point that I can hear the prayers of other gods. Such things should drive a mortal to madness, I wonder if I am already mad or not.”
Larson could see the pleading in Crenshaw’s shimmering eyes, “I’m glad you haven’t changed, you’re still the grumpy soft-hearted guy I remember. I guess I wouldn’t fix everything but I would probably make me a companion, maybe a female Kobold with a loyal nature, large breasts.”
“Kobolds don’t have-”
“Hey you asked what I would do and I like a lovely human or elf busom. They are my favorite warm lumps, I would also make sure she didn’t have wings so I could carry her around. Shiny black scales like yours but more clean. Hmmmm and blue eyes.” Larson managed to look embarrassed when he finished, “What can I say, I’m more interested into making love than getting revenge.”
Crenshaw nodded sagely as Larson felt hands on his shoulder, a radiant beauty of a Kobold that matched his specifications. She gazed at him with a coy smile before giving a a nod in Crenshaw’s direction. Larson poked at the female who responded with a playful gasp, Crenshaw pulled up the weeds that he missed earlier.
“Who is she?”
“She is a character I created to be your companion. I gave her stats that would be enough to keep you happy. I didn’t bother giving her a name.”
“Stats? Character? I don’t understand.” Larson commented.
“Larson, I am Omnipotent, I know everything that makes this world work and it terrifies me. I can’t look away, all I can do is hope that some aspect of me is real.” Crenshaw grumbled sourly.
“You are real. I am real. We’ve known each other since…” Larson paused as Crenshaw whirled on him with dirt still in his hands.
“Larson. I know what you are trying to do and I appreciate it but stop. Don’t try to convince me of what’s real and whats not. Just be the Larson I remember, okay?” Crenshaw said with a sigh. “I can make you, I can unmake them, I can rearrange the laws of space and time. I know what our world is and it’s weighing on me.”
“So you can do anything, you can hold any power and you came out here to be left alone but we keep bothering you. Do I have it all down?” Larson squatted down, “Well hmmm. Gimme a house right about here.”
Larson pointed to the plot of land next to the farm, “Maybe give a few cows and few goats.”
“What are you-”
“You want to get your mind off of being a god? Well we were farmers before I grew my wings.Well I was a farmer, you were an Botanist.” Larson had the nerve to make air quotes, “I don’t mind going back to basics if it keeps things going smoothly, I am tasked to keep tabs on you so the dragons don’t shit themselves.”
“Why a house? You lived in a cave before.” Crenshaw asked, Larson only responded with by pointing a clawed finger to newly created female. “Oh…”
“Would you like to join me?” Larson asked, his gaze was locked on the black scaled female.
“I’m not going to watch you mate.”
“I didn’t mean that, I mean… Would you like to sit and just talk like old times. Before I got these wings and before you became old and grumpy.” Larson asked.
Crenshaw nodded before withdrawing a small sheet of paper from the air. “Take this.”
Larson gazed upon the sheet, his name was on it with various statistics and a breakdown of each one of his achievements. Larson puzzled over the document and points to the section that mentioned a familiar named Shia.
“I don’t have a familiar named Shia? What is this Crenshaw?” Larson asked and the black Kobold female waved at him.
“I’ve given you the keys to kingdoms. You are holding everything that makes you, you. Any change to the sheet will change your reality to reflect that. You tire of being a Kobold? Write Dragon in the race section. Wanna kill all the dragons, well just write in a spell that does that. That is a taste of what I can see, The Gods…” Crenshaw takes a deep breath, “The true Gods have made us all on that, every single living creature, every single monster from the most basic slime to the greatest of Gods has a sheet. There are even books that would teach other Gods how to make use, we are toys to creatures both beyond our comprehension and utterly beneath us.”
Larson look at his sheet, “Is that the big truth? The oh so profane knowledge that has you shaking in your boots?”
“Don’t mock me, Larson, You don’t understand that everything you are is in that sheet. You can’t even destroy it if you wanted to.” Crenshaw gritted his teeth in annoyance. When Larson didn’t answer, Crenshaw looked up from the ground to see the Kobold suddenly rippling with muscles and his familiar far more buxom than he originally made her.
“Pfffftttttt.. you are too eggheaded that you can have fun. We’ve always had something over us, dragons, demons, Gods, even a landlord. Stop looking up at the bigger thing and enjoy this opportunity, make the world interesting!” Larson snapped his fingers and a shimmering door appeared.
“Hey everyone, Crenshaw just gave me a magic bar and everyone is invited!”
“I did not!”
“They don’t know that and you don’t want to be looked at like a monster. Shut up, come inside and let’s get started on how you can have fun being God. I mean you made me familiar with a thoughts, you can make a few friends for yourself too.” Larson pulled the divine kobold through the shimmering door.
Crenshaw noticed that the bar was fully stocked with brews of all sorts, Larson stepped around the back with Shia following. Larson mixed some concoction faster than Crenshaw could follow before placing a glass in front of him. Crenshaw reached for the drink as other Kobolds were filing in, most likely at the request of their dragon masters. Larson placed a claw on Crenshaw’s hand.
“I trust you not to hurt us, I won’t use this power to hurt anyone but don’t expect me to timidly deny the demi-god you just made me.” Larson said, “My dragon masters be damned, I will make sure that you enjoy this power if I have to drown you in good drink.” Larson removed the claws.
“For a good friend, You’re an asshole, Lars.”
“Says the lizard who can summon lovely Kobolds with a thought.”
“…I can’t disagree with that.”